Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize