You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
