Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
