All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
