win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
