i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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