Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
