it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize