omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
