dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We got so high we made milksteak
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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