playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
