Pappa wants mamma naked
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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