Sponge bath it is.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
