the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
