wakey wakey hands off snakey
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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