He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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