shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
