so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
