I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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