i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
