omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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