It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
