My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
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Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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