Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
