..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
