Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
