I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
