Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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