I'm lost and stupid without you.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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