i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
