Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
