tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize