I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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