you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize