One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
