Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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