Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
