I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
