she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
