yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
