you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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