just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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