once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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