my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
