Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
