Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
