Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
