What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize