You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
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Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Someone came in the potted fern
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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