Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
