i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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