I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
