So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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