worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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