i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
