You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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