I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
